Journey to Alexander - South Korea

ALEXANDER - Present Day 2010

2010-01-02T03:59:00.000-08:00

This is something Alex's 1st grade teacher made of a field trip he went on.

Alex boxing with his brother Benjamin 12-28-09.

Alexander's third grade Fall 2011 school picture.

The Plan (that worked out).

2009-02-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

I am going to South Korea to pick up Leah’s little brother Alex!

On this day we received the call (from our social worker Lisa Muntz) that we have been waiting for that Alex was ready to come home. All of his paperwork and red tape has been completed, and now we give his foster family one more week with him as we prepare to go get him.

I called Erle D’Penha at Azumano Travel (in Vancouver, WA) and booked a round trip ticket for myself (and a return ticket for Alex) to and from Seoul, South Korea. I also called Paul Kim at Holt, Oregon to make arrangements for lodging and transportation while I’m in Korea. We sent him our itinerary and the application for a guided tour while I am in Seoul. I will leave on Monday morning (February 2) at 9 A.M. and arrive at O’Hare airport (Chicago) at 10 A.M. This flight will be on a BA146 jet. I will leave Chicago on a United Boeing 777 jet at 12:45 P.M. bound for Incheon / Seoul, South Korea. I will arrive at 9:50 P.M. on February 3 (I will lose 15 hours due to crossing the International Timeline over the Pacific Ocean). The flight time will be around 18 hours.

Speaking of Boeing 777 jets – I used to work on a satellite receiver / transmitter that went into Boeing 777 jets. I wonder if anything I have worked with will be on this jet?

Once I arrive at the Incheon / Seoul Airport I will have to clear customs, uncheck my baggage, and convert some currency into Korean won. There is supposed to be a van there to take me from the airport to the Holt Guesthouse, where I have room #401 reserved. On February 4 (Wednesday) I am going to meet Alex at his Foster Parent’s house. I will be allowed to visit for an hour or so. There is supposed to be a translator present so I can ask the Foster Mother questions. I will give the FM the necklace that Cheryl bought for her (it says “Mother” in Korean). I will have some Iowa Hawkeye shirts to give to any other family members who may be there.

On February 5 hopefully I will get a tour. One way or the other I will tour Seoul and take a lot of pictures. I will try to observe how much things have changed since I was last in Seoul (in 1984-85), when I was stationed there while I was in the Army. I also hope to buy a lot of souvenirs. Hopefully it won’t be too cold (like it is here at home – with temperatures staying below 0 degrees Fahrenheit). On Friday February 6th I will probably pick up Alex (for good) and take him for his travel physical. Then we will stay one last night at the guesthouse.

In the morning a van is supposed to take us to the Incheon / Seoul Airport – where I will check our baggage and convert whatever Korean currency I have left into U.S.A. currency. Our plane is due to leave Incheon / Seoul at 11 A.M. on Saturday February 7 – it will again be a United Boeing 777 jet. We should arrive in O’Hare (Chicago) at 11:45 A.M. on the same day (I will get back the 15 hours I previously lost on the way to South Korea). The flight time will be around 16 hours (it is faster because we will be flying back with the jet stream). At O’Hare I will have to take Alex through Immigration and give them the paperwork for Alex to be accepted into his new country. We will be leaving O’Hare at 2:45 P.M. on another BA146 Jet due for Cedar Rapids, Iowa. We should be arriving home at around 4 P.M. Saturday February 7th.

This is the plan – hopefully there won’t be too many variables (or deviations), and hopefully it won’t be too stressful for little Alex. I am going to try to keep in contact with Cheryl (and Leah) via e-mail. We will see how it all goes. I plan on keeping an old fashioned written journal while I am there (so I can better remember details). I will then transfer that information to this journal. The next journal entry will be the first entry in Leah & Alex’s Journal.

A happy fella with his foster father.

Trip description - Arriving in Seoul, South Korea.

2009-02-09T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hi Cheryl,

Well I made it - I am at the guest house. I am pretty tired so I will probably keep this short. If you reply I will write you longer ones - let me know.

No problems really - the airplane in CR had to be de-iced - then its wheels were stuck so they had to de ice it some more. Then when we got to Chicago the gate we were assigned was occupied by another plane - so they sent us to another gate which was also occupied. Then the next gate they sent us to wouldn't work, so they had to drive out some stairs. I really had to hustle to make the connection.

Chicago suburbs from above.

The flight from Chicago to Tokyo to Seoul went fine and we had our own video screens to watch movies, listen to music, or look at the real time GPS map. It is pretty cool. I watched "The Medallion" (Jackie Chan), "The Fighting Temptations" (Cuba Gooding Jr. Beyonce Knowles), and Intolerable Cruelty (George Clooney - Catherine Zeta-Jones).

Is Leah feeling any better?

Better get some rest - big day tomorrow. I couldn't sleep much on the plane for some reason.

Love,
Brett

Hello Cheryl,

It is Wednesday morning about 5 A.M. I have been up since about 4. I got to bed about midnight so I guess I got about 4 hours sleep. I don't feel tired, just kind of nervous & excited. As you know I am meeting Leah's Foster Mom at 9:30 later today, and then I will meet Alex and his Foster Mom later.

It was about 24 degrees F. last night with very little wind, so it doesn't feel cold. I imagine it gets up in the 30's during the day. The only place I have been so far that is having bad weather is CR.

I was lucky enough to get a window seat every step of the way. In the Boeing 777 (flight 883) my seat number was 33J - which is a right side window seat a few rows behind the wing. I saw some awesome views along the way - I tried to take some pictures (without flash) but of course they won't be the same. We went up through Canada, across Northern Canada, across Alaska, down along the coast of Russia, then Japan, then across to Korea. Alaska looks awesome from the air (but of course it is snow covered).

Alaska from above.

The sun followed us almost the whole way - so I didn't see darkness until we started to leave Japan at 7 P.M. last night. It was dark by when we reached Korea, and the skies were very clear so I could see the whole outline of the S. Korean coast by the lights, and the outlines of every city (it looked pretty cool). I could look at the GPS monitor in front of me which always told us exactly where we were, how high we are, how far we had come, and how far we had yet to go. It also told me if we had a tail or head wind, and how fast it was. Plus it kept track of the time, and temperature outside. I am probably missing something - but you get the idea.

Japan from above.

It was smooth sailing when I got to the Seoul / Incheon airport. I got off the flight and immigration was right past the gate. I handed my passport, and an immigration card that I filled out on the plane to a guy. He looked at it for a few minutes, asked me how long I was staying, stamped the passport, and led me through a gate. From here it wasn't too far to the baggage check, and the first piece of luggage that came on the belt while I was standing there was mine. Then I walked through customs (with nothing to declare I just breezed right through). From there I could see the currency exchange. I exchanged $1,000 for 1,137,000 won ($1 = 1,137 won).

Both sides of Korean Currency.

So at this time a 10,000 Won bill = $8.80, a 5,000 Won bill = $4.40, and a 1,000 Won bill = 88 cents.

The reception area was right through a nearby door and there were hundreds of people there, many holding signs. I saw one that said "Foley - Holt" so I pointed to the guy (his name was Kim) and I met up with him. He looks like he is around my age. He grabbed my large bag and we went up an elevator, and out the front door. We loaded the bags into a van, and then we took about a 1/2 hour drive to Seoul. Mr. Kim didn't speak English - I got the feeling he didn't want to talk - so it was a quiet ride. The roads weren't very crowded until we got to Seoul. Seoul is very colorful at night - there is a lot to look at. Many things looked the same - some looked different. All the bridges that go across the Han River are lit up with neon lights (that's different). Mr. Kim liked to speed - the speed limit said the speed limit was 100 km/hr (62 mph), but Mr. Kim was averaging 120-130 km/hr. We were weaving in and out of traffic, going past police cars (who didn't seem too concerned). I can see why people have trouble finding the Holt guesthouse - it was like a maze of very narrow streets to get there. It is a non descript brick building.

Holt's New Guesthouse.

The guesthouse entrance.

When we got there an older guy let us in. He never told me his name and he seems to mostly communicate by pointing and grunting. I asked Mr. Kim if I had to pay him or Holt, and he said I pay him. I swear he said it was 5,000 won (which is like less than $4). So I shrugged my shoulders and gave him $10,000 won and told him to keep the change. He laughed at this and said no it is 50,000 won (that sounds more like the price they told me it would be).

The older guy took me up the elevator and showed me my room, and showed me where everything is. It is not too bad. The mattress is on the hard side - but I am not feeling any ill effects. I have a fridge, stove, washer, TV, microwave, computer (with Windows 98) & e-mail capability, and a water dispenser.

New Guesthouse computer desk.

I have my own small bathroom in my room which has a shower that is not enclosed - right out in the open (I hope the drain works). It is clean enough - they obviously do housekeeping around here. There was a guy sitting at the computer last night so I went and talked with him. His name is Lars and he is from Norway. He is here with his wife (who was adopted from Korea - not by him) and their 2-year-old son (also adopted from Korea). I haven't seen them yet. Lars is here to adopt another son. They have already met him, and Lars said it went very well. Their new son was giving them hugs and calling them Ummpa and Ohma. Lars doesn't think he speaks English well but I complemented him that I thought he spoke it very well, and I could understand him fine. He is an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician - I'm sure you knew that), and his wife is a Midwife. Lars said that he grew up in Finland, and his wife grew up in Norway - and that is where they live. He seems like a pretty nice guy.

Well I will e-mail you later today after I see both Foster Moms & meet Alex (I know you are anxiously awaiting that bit of news). It is now 6 A.M. Wednesday morning (which means it is around 3 P.M. Tuesday afternoon where you are). Feel free to forward these e-mails to whoever may be interested (don't have time to write to everyone).

Love,
Brett

1st E-mail Reply from Home.

2009-02-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

Hi Brett,

We are looking forward to hearing from you again. Hopefully you will be able to sleep better tonight. Leah and I are watching a re-broadcast of the new "Survivor".

I just got done putting up the dolphin border in Alex's room. When "Survivor" is over, I am going to put a second coat of paint on the basement floor. Trying to get as much done as possible before Saturday!

It is supposed to snow again on Thursday and Friday. Saturday is supposed to be a high of 18 degrees, but no snow. I haven't seen a forecast for Chicago on Saturday yet. I'll let you know if any bad weather is expected then.

Love,
Cheryl and Leah

Meeting Jung Wook Ah & 2 Foster Mothers.

2009-02-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

Hi Cheryl,

I don't know where to begin - so much has happened. I tried calling Mrs. Lee at Holt starting at 8 A.M. There are 2 numbers to call. The first a man would answer, and after I asked for Mrs. Lee he would say he didn't understand English, then the other number would be a women's voice speaking Korean on an answering machine. After a few rounds of this I decided just to go to the Holt Office early. It is not far away - about 2 1/2 blocks from the Guest House. I met a couple in the Holt Lobby that was from Norway (a different couple from before). They told me their names but I have already forgotten them (I have been writing down everyone else’s name that I have met since). They were picking up their son - who is a cute boy who is about 6 months old). There was much activity as everyone was hurrying to get them ready to go so they could go catch their flight. When they left the Foster Mother burst into tears, and her son and husband were comforting her. It was a very touching scene (I had tears in my eyes as well). I met Mrs. Kim at around 9:30, and Leah’s Foster Mom was there. It was Foster Mom #2. Mrs. Kim is a young lady (about 23-24 I would guess) who is very kind and helpful, She speaks very good English.

Mrs. Kim and Ms. Kwang. (One of Leah's foster moms).

Leah's FM (Ms. Kwang) was very nice. She had a little boy with her who is about 6 months old (I later met his new parent's at the Guest House - another very nice couple from Norway). She brought this boy to meet his parents for the first time, and this meeting took place after our meeting. My meeting with Ms. Kwang went very well. I described how well Leah is doing, and that her eye surgery went well and she sees very well. She said that she was worried about that, and seemed reassured. I gave her the picture book and described the pictures (with Mrs. Kim translating as she looked through them all. Then she asked to see a younger picture of Leah (I think she was having trouble placing Kim Jang Mee with a face). I showed her Leah's Journal which has a picture of her standing with Leah and she laughed at that one. She really enjoyed looking through the pictures and the Journal. She said that Leah looks like she is very happy, and she is very pleased that that is so. Later I asked her if I could take her picture and she agreed. Mrs. Kim took a couple of pictures of me sitting with Ms. Kwang (and the baby), then I took another of her with Mrs. Kim. This meeting ended at around 10:30 A.M. when the baby’s parents showed up. It went very well I thought.

Now for what you are waiting for - I was sitting in an enclosed meeting cubicle and a little guy pokes his head around the corner - it is little Alex! He looks just like the last picture we received of him - but a little bigger, and he has thicker hair. He was a little unsure of me at first, but soon he was calling me "appa" and giving me hugs. He is so much like Leah! He was so outgoing and really enjoys being around other people. He has a lot of personality. He smiles and laughs when any of us plays with him. The FM said that Alex favors his Foster Father over her a bit - so I don't think he is going to be a "Momma's Boy". I gave him the little purple car that I brought him, and he played with it for a bit - then he was trying to give it away to each of us. My overall perception of this meeting was it was "awesome"! At various times throughout the meeting I was holding him and patting him on the back, bouncing him on my knee, we were looking in each others eyes. I really felt like we connected very well - like this was meant to be. The Foster Mom was very informative, and also very kind (I forgot to ask her name - and I also forgot to take pictures, but fortunately this can still be remedied). I gave her the picture book, and Mrs. Kim also suggested that I show her the journal (both Foster Mothers and Mrs. Kim were very impressed with the journal - I am glad I decided to bring it). Mrs. Kim again did the translating. This is true - when we were looking through the journal, Mrs. Kim would point to Leah's picture and say "Un nee" - Alex several times bent down and would kiss Leah's picture - it was so funny (and touching). There was a lot of laughing in this meeting - a good sign. The FM answered all of your questions very well. She says he is very organized and likes to put things in their place when he is through with them (who does this sound like Cheryl)? They address Alex as Jun-Wok-Ah. He likes to play with toys, and has a special toy that he sleeps with and prefers (and she is going to let him take it with him). The FM said that they take hour long walks each day (as a family) and Jun-Wok-Ah enjoys this time. She said his favorite foods are "everything" - he eats anything apparently. She said he can eat as many as 5 bananas a day (do you turn into a monkey if you eat that many? - I don't know - maybe we should have named him Gilligan) I am feeling deja-vu - I think I may have used the previous silly wisecrack before. Jun-Wok-Ah was eating a bag of chips that were like French fries throughout the course of the meeting. He even fed me a couple without anyone suggesting that he should. The FM said that he doesn't have any food (or other) allergies - and he drinks regular milk. He still drinks from a bottle and is not familiar with a sippy cup yet. He sleeps when others sleep, and he takes 2 one hour naps a day (at 11 A.M. & 4 P.M.). His normal sleeping hours at night are 11 - 7. He sometimes gets a sore throat that wakes him up at night, but medicine seems to help this. He is not toilet trained and still wears diapers (the FM says she has been trying to get him trained without much success). When Jun-Wok-Ah gets upset the FM says that holding him, rocking him, patting him gently on the back usually comforts him.

I gave the FM (I feel like such a schmuck for having to type "FM") the picture book, the Omma necklace, a box of chocolates, and the Iowa Hawkeye’s t-shirt. I gave Mrs. Kim a box of chocolates, and an Iowa Hawkeye’s t-shirt. They seemed pleased with these small gifts. When it came time for the FM and Jun-Wok-Ah to go - Alex didn't want to leave me (is that hard to believe or what)? It took considerable coaxing by us all to get him to go home with the FM. I felt both bad (& good) about this - bad for the Foster Mother, but good that he likes me so much already. I think that the FM must have done a good job of familiarizing Alex with his future, and us (from pictures). The time was now around 12:30 P.M. and Mrs. Kim set up for me to meet with them again today (Thursday Feb 5) at 4 P.M. - this is for the medical exam. I am going on the tour from 10 to I guess before 4 P.M. Then I pick Alex up for good at 2 P.M. Friday. I have us set to leave (by van) at 8 A.M. on Saturday to the Seoul / Incheon Airport - where our flight leaves at 11 A.M. We should be back in CR by 4 P.M. (same day).

The problem with this e-mail is I keep thinking of more and more things to say - so I apologize that things may be jumbled. There is a lot of activity at the Holt Office, and a lot of interaction - so people would pop in and out. During my meeting with Alex another little Korean boy walked by the cubicle and Alex ran up to him and they started jabbering with each other - it was so cute - just like Leah often does. Also at one point Alex was playing with Mrs. Kim's cell phone, and he didn't want to give it back. So he threw a bit of a tantrum when she had to forcibly remove it from his hands. Several people commented that he looks just like me. I almost said it is because I have sleepy eyes - my eyes usually look like they are half-closed - but I thought they might be insulted by that so I held my tongue and just nodded in agreement. The FM & Mrs. Kim also commented that Leah & Alex look like brother and sister - they look similar. I made sure I thanked both Foster Mothers for taking such good care of Leah & Alex, & I communicated how important I think what they do is in the lives of these children (and our lives as well).

What happened between 12:30 P.M. Wednesday and now is a whole other e-mail (which hopefully I will have time to write). It is now 4:20 A.M. Thursday morning and I need to get more rest before the tour. I have already got about 6 hours sleep - which is way more than I have gotten the last few nights. It has been a great experience so far.

Love,
Brett

P.S. As I was out and about in Seoul yesterday I saw so many cute little girls who looked just like Leah. It made me a little sad that I wasn't with her now. Please give Leah a hug and a kiss for me.

Namsangol Hanok Korean Folk Village.

E-mail from Home.

2009-02-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

Brett,

It sounds like things are going great for you. I am so happy that Alex likes you and played with you. Several people had commented to me when they saw his picture that he looks like Leah. I thought he did look a little like you, too.

Every morning when Leah wakes up, she asks "Where is Daddy?" When I say "He is still in Korea getting Alex." she gets a big smile on her face and says "Yeah!" Now she says "We will go to the airport to get Daddy and Alex", and "Alex is big". We just came back from my parent's house and Leah is taking a nap on the couch. We both miss you a lot!

I think my parents, your parents, Julie and Samantha, and Heather are going to the airport to see you arrive. Get some good sleep and write more when you can.

Love, hugs and kisses,
Cheryl and Leah

Tour Day - Sleepless Nights

2009-02-09T21:06:00.001-08:00

Me (Brett).

Hi Cheryl,

Well is our girl smart or what!

It is now 10 P.M. Thursday night. I have met 5 couples so far (all are receiving infant boys except one who is receiving a girl). Four of the couples are from Norway (not Iowa - Europe). I talked with all 4 couples for a while last night and that was pretty interesting. They all spoke English very well (they receive English instruction as part of their schooling). They were all very nice and went out of their way to include me in their conversations. None of them knew too much about Iowa - like where it is - but they understood after I told them it was just south of Minnesota. This morning I met a couple from Portland Oregon (Jim & Maura). They are also receiving a 6-month-old boy. I showed Maura a picture of Alex, and she said that they were at the Holt Office yesterday at the same time as Alex and Alex walked up to Jim and stared at him with a very serious look. She thinks he is adorable. All of these couples will be leaving for their homes tomorrow.

Korean Folk Dance - Korean Folk Village at Suwon.

Going back to where I left off on the last e-mail - after I left Holt at 12:30 P.M. Wednesday I decided to check out the subway.

2004 Seoul Subway Map.

The subway system here is awesome - you can get anywhere in Seoul in a very short time for only 700 won (about 65 cents). There are eight different lines and sometimes you have to switch lines to get to where you are going - but you can do all of this with just one 700 won ticket. When I was here before there were no subways - just a couple of above ground trains.

View from Yongsan Station (#1 Blue Line).

I decided to go to Yongsan first to see my old Army Base. It was a huge base - why do I say was - because it no longer exists. I guess my first clue should have been it wasn't on the map that I have. The base is now a Korean War Memorial, and it is manned by ROK Army soldiers.

Korean War Memorial Building.

Next I went to Itaewon - which is nearby. It was a great place to buy Korean stuff. Not anymore - I suspect because there isn't much of a U.S. base nearby anymore. So that was all sort of a waste of time.

Itaewon - right outside Yongsan Army base.

Next I decided to check out the CO-EX which is a huge underground mall. It had just about any kind of shop you can think of - I picked up some stuff there. I also ate supper at a McDonalds. Sometimes I would ride the subway and get off at any old stop, and then I went up to the street and just took some street pictures. On this day I also went to Insadong - which several people (including Susie) told me was a good place to find Korean made crafts. It had a lot of nice shops, and their prices were considerably cheaper than the stores at the CO-EX. I managed to get back to the guest house by around 8 P.M. (and I was dog tired too).

The COEX Mall is below this building.

Inside the COEX Mall.

This morning I went on the tour. It was myself, Jim & Maura (who I mentioned above), and three female guides. Two of the guides are students - ones name is Sara (sounds like Sa Ra), and the other one is Jue (sounds like Jew). Sara is a senior at a Women's University in Seoul, is 25 and she is in broadcasting (she wants to be an anchorwoman). Jue is a sophomore at another University, is 22 and is an aspiring opera singer. They are both good friends of each other's & very nice, and pretty enough to be models. Sara speaks English pretty well - sometimes I had difficulty understanding Jue (and vice versa). The other guide’s name was Yeoung Oak (sounds like young oak). She is probably in her late 20's, and seemed to be very well educated (she was very interesting to talk to).

Sara & Jue on the Subway.

First they took us to the Namsan-Gol Hanok Village (Korea Village). This was like an old fashioned Korean village that I have seen before - it is pretty cool. It was kind of funny - these girls would be talking with us and would tend to lose focus that they are supposed to be guides - and we got off on the wrong stop a couple of times. I (being the smart aleck that you know) jokingly asked them if they wanted me to take over as the guide. Also both Yeoung and Jue lost their tickets once each. When you get on the subway you purchase a ticket - which you then feed into a machine at some turnstiles. You go through the turnstiles & the machine gives your ticket back. When you leave the subway you feed the ticket again into the turnstiles machine and it keeps the ticket and lets you go though the turnstiles to exit. If you don't have your ticket you have to buy another ticket to leave. We also had some tea in a little house in this village. I had ginseng tea (which is the only kind of tea I have ever tasted that I like).

Namsangol Hanok Korean Folk Village.

Where we ate lunch in Insadong.

Next we went to get lunch at a little place in Inasdong. I had papso golgee (rice & beef - which was good). The side dishes were 2 different kinds of kimchi (which I tried - but one bite was enough for me) and something that was like sushi - blah! I got a coke to drink (which helped). Maura & Jim are both 37. Maura is an Art Teacher, and Jim designs computer equipment. They were also very interesting to talk to - Maura is like you - she did a lot of research and is very knowledgeable about the adoption process, and she also did a lot of research on good places to visit while in Korea. The last place we went to was called the Gyeongbok Gung Palace and Korean historical museum.

Gyeoungbokgung Palace and the girls.

The King.

Korean Historical Museum.

Seoul 500 Years Ago.

I have also been here before (but I wanted to get more pictures). This is a large compound that has a lot of old style palaces. The historical museum is just the coolest place. It has a lot of miniature figurine settings representing different periods of Korean history, with explanations for each nearby to read. Overall I had a very good time - it is such a good deal because all we had to pay for was the food, tickets, and admissions.

The Yang Hwa Bridge over the Han River (Near Holt Office).

The Holt Office (2004).

Around 4 P.M. I had to get back to Hapjung Dong (Holt Office) to meet with a Mrs. Kim, Alex, and his Foster Mother for Alex's examination. Alex didn't recognize me until I took off my hat - then he called me appa again. The Foster Father was also there, and you can tell that Alex really loves him. The FM gave me a picture book of Alex pictures - I am sure you will be pleased with it (I am). I have found that Alex is very popular at the Holt Office - when he is there people come out to see him. Sarah & Jue also got to meet Alex (I gave each of them an Iowa Hawkeye t-shirt). The FM mentioned that when Alex was a newborn he looked like he was Black (African-American). She said that once an old lady looked at him and fainted. I guess I thought that maybe the fact that this lady was old might have had something to do with her fainting - I don't know. The FM bought Alex a new brown winter coat instead of a han-bok - she said he would probably need it more (the day before she asked me what the weather is like where Alex will be living). When Alex left - he gave me a big hug, and I held out my hand to try to get him to shake hands. He took my hand and kissed the back of my hand. Then he ran into the arms of his Foster Father.

After this I went back to the Guest House to chill out for about an hour. Then I decided I wanted to eat some American food - so I jumped on the #2 subway to go to the CO-EX to eat at Popeye's Chicken Place. Then I took some night photos of the city hall and surrounding area.

Seoul City Hall.

Seoul at night time.

Tomorrow I receive Alex for good at 2 P.M. where he will spend the night with me at the guest house for our last night in South Korea (until we come back here with you gals in the future). Then the van is supposed to be here at 8 A.M. Saturday morning to take us on the long journey home.

This is probably my last e-mail from Korea. So far I have taken 7 rolls of film worth of pictures, and I am shooting for 10. I still have to take pictures of Alex & the Foster Family.

Love,
Brett

P.S. to friends and family that Cheryl has forwarded these e-mails to - I wanted to say thank you for your encouragement, prayers, (and compliments).

Hi Cheryl,

I remembered a couple of other things to tell you (I was getting brain lock while I was writing the previous e-mail so I was thinking to myself "I have to find a way to end this e-mail and send it now"). I ordered 3 han-boks (traditional Korean dress) from Holt that I am supposed to get tomorrow. One that will fit Alex now, one that should fit him in his teenage years, and the last that should fit Leah in her teenage years. Also I forgot to talk about how the examination went. The Doctor went over the last wellness report on Alex with me to make sure I understood it. She poked Alex around a bit, checked his heart & lungs, inside his mouth, and inside his ears. She played some games with him to gauge his reaction. She said he is doing very well. He is still a bit behind in his mental development in that he doesn't string words together yet - but she is sure he will eventually catch up (he has come so far already - she said). She also mentioned that his heart is fine (he has a slight murmur - but she doesn't seem too concerned about it) I told her about Leah having a heart murmur.

Despite the fact that my meetings with Alex have went so well I am still bracing for a coming storm. He really loves his Foster Family (especially the Father). So he is still going to be sad, angry, scared etc. when he starts to come to the realization that things are going to change so much in his life. I pray that I have the understanding and patience to deal with it (and accept it) in the correct way. I expect this - but I am also glad that he loves his Foster Family so much because it shows he is very capable of connecting so well with others. This gives me a lot of hope for the future. This is what I will keep in mind if he is screaming in my ear on the flight home. I am hoping and praying for a positive experience on the trip home - it could happen. Hopefully Alex spending a night with me before the flight will help. I will do my best to take care of him.

I will see you on my tomorrow - and your day after tomorrow (as we world travelers might say). I have now officially been halfway across the world for the third time in my life.

On one hand I wish I had a few more days to spend here because there is so much left to see (and it is so easy to get around to see it). But on the other I want to come home because I miss you so much, and I am anxious for you all to meet Alex. Like his big sister Leah - he is quite a character!

Love,
Brett

The Warning

2009-02-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

Hi Cheryl,

I don't have time to write much - Alex is sleeping in our room and I can see him sleeping on the bed from where I sit. It might be a rough trip - he absolutely didn't want to leave his Foster Father and it was a major struggle to get him into the guest house. The Foster Mother was very distraught and almost didn't want to let him go. The FM has watched over 40 children and she said Jung Wook was her longest one. She also said she didn't want to be a Foster Mother anymore because of the difficulty she is having letting Jung Wook go. Alex cried himself to sleep - I tried to comfort him the best I could but nothing has really worked yet. It is possible that when he sleeps might be the only time he doesn't cry for awhile.

Anyway just thought I should warn you - if we look like a wreck when you see us you will know why.

Love,
Brett

2-6-2004 Gotcha Day - First Night with Alexander.

2009-02-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

First Night with Alex – Coming Home

I made it to the Holt Office on time (I was never late for any appointment my whole time here) at 2 P.M. on Friday February 7th, 2004. Alex and the Foster Parent’s were already there and they were in the lobby. Alex wasn’t overjoyed to see me (but he wasn’t running away either). Alex was hanging around his Foster Father (whom he is very fond of – they played many games together in the time that we were all there). The Foster Father was working to get Alex to play with me, and to include me in what they were doing. Alex received his pre-flight checkup, and the 2 female doctors (Dr. Jung & Dr. Lee) went over Alex’s medical records and pre-flight report with me – to make sure I understood them. I remember there was a lot of Foster Mothers there with their children for which they are caring. I also remember that there was a kerosene heater in the middle of the lobby – and it was hot! Koreans like their heat (plus it was probably toasty for all of the babies). As time went on we were all sitting in what I call the blue bag room (it is a waiting room where they also keep the blue bags that they send home with each child). Alex was playing ball catch with the Foster Father & I, and the Foster Mother was talking with other Holt workers, and Foster Mothers who would come in and out.

Mrs. Kim, Alex, and his foster parents.

The closer it came for my time to leave with Alex – the more upset the Foster Mother was becoming. The FM got into a heated discussion with Kim (the interpreter), and another young social worker. I found out later that the Foster Mother was having second thoughts about giving up Jung Wook, and Kim was explaining to her that we have come too far to turn back. I could sense something was going wrong. The Foster Father was trying to calm the FM down. The other Foster Mothers were all crying (and so was Kim – but she was trying to be brave and do her job). Alex was also starting to sense something was wrong and he was starting to act out. I am sitting here not knowing what to say or do – but I also knew that there was no way I was leaving without Alex (no matter how many people that it upsets) – so I sat there and watched this all play out. When I say Jung Wook was acting out what I mean is he was starting to fuss, and when anyone would try to comfort him he would push them away. They kept on trying to give him different types of snacks, but he would push them away. He actually went up and smacked a little baby (in the face) that a Foster Mother was holding (and made her cry). The Foster Mother freaked out – yelled a few things – and walked out of the room with the baby. When the FM found out that my flight didn’t leave until the next morning – she wanted to take Jung Wook home and give him to me on this morning. I am like “come on now!” Kim explained to her that this was a bad idea. This was all very bizarre and unusual – you had to be there to understand just how much. I was really starting to get worried.

Alex throwing a baseball in the "blue bag room".

The problem is that this was her 42nd child that she has cared for – this Foster Mother is very well respected within the Holt Office. Jung Wook was by far the child that she had had the longest, and he had become a part of their family. It was clear that Jung Wook is very fond of this family (especially the Father). I felt very bad for them – just like everyone else. But I knew that if I didn’t leave with him – we would never get another child with this agency (or probably from any other agency as well). Kim told me that the Foster Mother told them that Jung Wook would be her last Foster Child – she couldn’t do it anymore (it upsets her too much).

Before I left with Jung Wook – I paid for the 3 han-boks (traditional Korean Dress -111,000 won = $98) for Leah & Alex, and I settled with the Holt Travel Guest House fees (120,000 won = $106 for 4 nights – not bad). Then when it came time for us to leave I said bye to everyone. I said bye to the Foster Father – but the FM wanted to carry Alex to the Guest House (which is a couple of blocks away). So she was carrying Alex and Kim & I were carrying the bags. Kim was crying – I am not sure if she knew what she was going to do – but I appreciate it that she came. The Foster Mother hugged and kissed Alex, said a few things to him, and gave him to me. Alex was crying – loudly. The Foster Mother walked away wailing, and Kim came into the Guest House with me. We were both trying to calm Alex down with no success. Kim took me to the child care area on the 3rd floor of the Guest House. There were some children there, and this calmed Alex down for a bit, but when we left he started wailing again. I told Kim that we would be OK – that Alex needed to express his grief, and that I think we should just let him cry as long as he needed. I thanked her for all of her help, and at this point Kim left.

It was now about 5 P.M. and Alex cried for most of the night. We were in my room for awhile, and finally I took him out into the common area. There was a new couple there from Norway who was to receive a son in the next week. They introduced themselves (but their names were so unusual that I just don’t remember them). I do know that their 11-year-old son that was with them name was Andreas. They were also a very nice couple who already had 6 kids (5 of which were biological – 1 previously from South Korea). They were a little older than me. The Mother actually got Alex calmed down for awhile – to where he was playing and laughing. Whenever Alex would hear a door open he would run to it saying “appa” (for his Foster Father). We have since found that Alex calls just about every man he sees “appa”. He also calls every animal a “moo moo”.

Alex in the Holt New Guesthouse - Forth Floor common area.

When we went back into our room Alex started crying again. I tried to comfort him again with no success (he was clearly very angry with me). Then I just fell into bed and watched TV for awhile. Eventually Alex got tired and climbed up into bed with me. I gave him a bottle (and his pikachu stuffed animal). He must have worn himself out because he slept from about 10 P.M. to about 5 A.M. the next morning. I took this opportunity to pack. I saw that Alex liked to roll around in his sleep (like Leah), so I put the suitcase on one side of the bed, and myself on the other side to prevent Alex from rolling off the bed. I slept only about 3 hours – mostly because I was so anxious to get home. Also I was worried about how the flights might go – it seemed like they might be really tough on us both. I didn’t start getting ready to go again until Alex woke up.

Alex in room 401 on the first morning.

Then I cleaned us up, gave Alex a bottle (and made him some for the sky), and finished packing. There was another lady at the Guest House who was taking home a six-month-old daughter that morning (her van was coming a bit earlier than mine). I was talking to her for awhile while Alex was puttering around the common area. Just as she was starting to leave she came back up and told us goodbye & good luck. She also told me that she thought that Alex’s Foster Mother was downstairs in the lobby. I thought “Oh Crap!”

I was thinking that I just got Alex kind of used to me, and now the FM was going to make us go through it all over again. I was getting Alex dressed in our room and there comes a knock on the door. It was the proprietor and the Foster Mother. The man told me that our ride was here (15 minutes early), and the Foster Mother was inspecting how well I was dressing Alex. She strongly suggested that I put his long underwear on (it was about 35 degrees F), and to put his socks on that he came with (they were dirty – and of no better quality than the ones I had on Alex). I did this to appease her. Then when I was ready I carried the bags down and she brought Alex down. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen here so I just went with the flow. The FM came with us to the Seoul / Incheon Airport (which is roughly 35 – 40 miles away). She paid for the ride (which was about 55,000 won = $48). Then she dictated something to the van driver to write down. It was her address and phone # in Hangeul - which she then handed to me. We are not supposed to deal with the Foster Families directly as far as contacting them or sending them pictures – we are all supposed to do it through Holt. I figure that since she is retiring, and we are probably not going to deal with Holt again much more – that I may get this translated and send her pictures of Alex growing up directly. One way or the other I am going to send her pictures because she must of asked me 3 or 4 times to do so.

We had almost 3 hours before the flight so I invited her inside and told her that I could wait outside the gate until about 45 minutes before the flight. This way she could have a couple more hours with Alex, and so she did. She kept Alex occupied while I checked in the baggage and got the boarding passes for the flight. They told me that the flight from Seoul to Narita / Tokyo Japan would have an open seat next to mine (for Alex), and so far the flight from Japan to Chicago also had an open seat for Alex – but they couldn’t guarantee that would remain to be the case. This was good because otherwise he would have to sit on my lap while our seat belts need to be buckled during the flight. As we were sitting in the waiting area there was a black lady sitting across from us listening to a walkman. Alex went up to her looking at her with his puppy dog eyes. She took her headphones off and put them on Alex. He listened to it for a bit, and then started dancing – it was hilarious! Even the FM thought so. I talked to this lady for a short while. She was married to an Army Soldier at Camp Casey (about 25 miles NE of Seoul). She was going home to visit her family in Illinois – but her flight wasn’t until 3 P.M. (Ours was at 11 A.M.). She asked me a lot of questions about the adoption process / experience.

Alex listening to the music.

When it came time for us to go through to the gates I asked the Foster Mother if she would come to the currency exchange with us. I cashed the 257,000 won I had left back into dollars. The exchange rate went up from the 1,137 won = $1 to 1,200 won = $1 from when I did the initial exchange – so I lost a bit. So now 257,000 = $215. I then told the Foster Mother we had to go through – it was time to go. So she walked us to the X-ray machines, bent down and kissed Alex for the last time, and left. I took off Alex’s and my shoes. I took off our bags from my shoulders, our coats, and put them through the X-ray machine. We were on our way home.

2-7-2004 Coming Home

2009-02-09T20:38:00.000-08:00

Coming Home (2/7/2004)

By the time we got to gate 47 for our first leg of our flight from Seoul, South Korea to Narita / Tokyo, Japan they were already letting people on board. Alex was doing pretty well. The weather was good – it was around 40 degrees F. We boarded United Flight 884 and took our seat 23G. This was a middle aisle seat with the seat next to us vacant. I had more pieces of carry-on luggage than I expected – 3 pieces + pikachu, so it was difficult for me to carry all of this stuff and Alex as well. As a result Alex did almost as much walking as I did on this whole trip. Alex also loves to ride escalators – he would get very excited whenever we would ride one (and it seems like we rode many escalators). There was a few times when Alex got upset that I had to carry him and the luggage – but overall he did amazingly well for a toddler. We left South Korea on time (11:00 A.M.), and were on our way to Japan.

I strapped Alex’s and my belts on before takeoff and I tried to give him a bottle. My friend Lorraine gave me a tip that it helps toddlers during flight ascents and descents if they are drinking from a bottle – as far as with ear popping (chewing gum works pretty good for me). Alex wasn’t interested in drinking a bottle just yet, and it didn’t take him long to wiggle out of his seat belt. So I just held on to him and rubbed his back until the seat belt signs went off. Then I let him sit in his seat unbuckled. He was in a very good mood on most of this flight. He was laughing and giggling as I played with him. Alex usually has a very serious look on his face – but when he smiles and laughs his whole face just lights up – he is so handsome! When we started to descend he started to get upset – so I gave him a bottle and he took to it. This helped calm him down – Thank you Lorraine!

Despite the fact that we were staying on the same flight going from Tokyo to Chicago O’Hare, we had to get off of the Boeing 777 in Tokyo. They had to refuel, clean up, and do a security check on the plane. So we got off the plane, went through the X ray machines again, and proceeded to our next gate to board the same plane. I bought us a banana and an orange, which Alex helped me eat with much enthusiasm. At the gate Alex and I were playing catch with his stuffed pikachu (Pokemon). He was smiling and laughing and I noticed so were several of the other people waiting at the gate. There was a young Korean girl waiting in the seats by our gate who was eating an orange. Alex went up to her and mooched a couple of slices of her orange. When she was done with the orange Alex was still standing there waiting for more. So she handed me an orange – for which I thanked her. Then Alex and I shared another orange.

Alex mooching food for us (with his big puppy dog eyes).

Alex by our plane.

We boarded United Flight 884 again at 2:45 P.M. to head for Chicago and the U.S.A., and things had changed a bit. The flight was much fuller – in fact it was filled. This meant that Alex would have to ride on my lap. The airline was kind enough to arrange it for us so that we had the best possible seat for this situation. It was seat 17C – which is a middle aisle seat just behind the divider between business class and coach. What this meant was lots of leg room. There were 3 guys next to us who were from the Washington D.C. area who helped me a lot during the flight by interacting with Alex and playing with him without complaint. Alex is not shy about approaching anyone – so it was good to sit next to people who weren’t uptight. During takeoff I had Alex lying sideways on my lap and I was feeding him a bottle. Alex soon went to sleep. He slept like this for the first 2 hours of the flight – I decided to skip the first meal offered on the flight so I wouldn’t have to wake him up to put down my tray. Finally my back started hurting too much and I had to get Alex up so I could stretch. I shared any meals I received with Alex (when he was awake) plus he received some Gerber’s applesauce, and some kind of macaroni stuff. At one point he fell asleep on the floor in front of us – using his stuffed pikachu as a pillow – for about 6 straight hours! There were a couple of times during the flight that Alex started to get upset, but I was always able to find a way to get him calmed back down. I couldn’t sleep at all because I wanted to keep an eye on Alex. I did manage to watch a good movie – Secondhand Lions with Michael Caine & Robert Duvall. We took a more direct straight route home this time moving with the jet stream. We went through a few storms so we had to wear seatbelts during these times. When it got rough I got down on the floor to hold Alex. Fortunately the air crew didn’t make me wake Alex up – it never got too bad. It was dark outside during most of the time that we were over the Pacific Ocean.

We landed at Chicago O’Hare at about 2 P.M. the same day (it’s magic). It was about 15 degrees F and there was snow on the ground (there wasn’t any snow in Chicago when we left here earlier in the week). When we landed I thanked the guys next to us for helping us out, and I waited for the plane to clear out before Alex & I continued on our way. First we had to go to Immigrations where I showed them our passports and handed them a manila envelope with Alex’s secret paperwork that I wasn’t supposed to open. Then we had to uncheck our 2 large bags so we could take them through Customs. Customs is where I found out that Alex’s Foster Mother had packed him some fruit for the road that I didn’t know about – so they scolded me a bit for trying to smuggle fruit into the U.S., but they let us go on our way. We didn’t have to go too much farther to recheck the 2 large bags into our final flight from Chicago to Cedar Rapids – but bye bye pushcart. They told me that our next flight connection was at terminal one, so Alex and I rode the train to terminal one. The flight was United 5639 to Cedar Rapids on a British Aerospace jet. According to the boards our flight was at gate F9 and was on time (never believe the boards in Chicago). I found out later that the “F” gates were near terminal 3 (not terminal one). When we entered the gate area and the X-ray machines, again taking off our shoes, coats, luggage, etc. – pikachu had to be tested to make sure he wasn’t a bomb. He (she?) passed I am glad to say. So Alex and I walked through 2 whole terminals before we reached gate F9. I decided we had some time so I bought us a hamburger and french fries, as well as something to drink. Alex helped me eat it all pretty good. Then we went to gate F9 and waited for a bit – until they informed us that our flight was being switched to gate F4. So we went to gate F4 where Alex and I again took a seat. There was an older lady sitting across from us who had a grumpy look on her face. Finally she pointed at Alex and said “what’s that?” I asked her what she meant, and she said “well what is he – I know he is not white”. I told her no – he’s purple, and he is my son. I know – not the snappiest comeback, but she caught me off guard. At least it shut her up. Alex soon wanted his moo-moo, which is a stuffed mechanical puppy dog which does back flips. He played with it for awhile, and several kids came over to watch this dog – it is kind of clever. At this gate F4 they finally put Cedar Rapids up on the board – but they spelled it “Cedar Radips”. I thought to myself here is another fine example of Chicago’s school system’s influence at work. Our United Flight UA5639 was supposed to leave at 3 P.M. and didn’t end up leaving until after 4 P.M. & nobody on the flight crew ever knew why.

We did eventually make it home at around 5 P.M. on February 7, 2004, and as usual Alex and I were the last passengers off of the flight. When we came around the last corner into the airport terminal waiting area – there was our whole family waiting and taking pictures. We were home!

Leah, Alex, & the Backflip Puppy.

Alex outside with mommy 10-10-2004.

Alex giving the camera a "smoldering" look 10-10-2004.